got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
