# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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