In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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