wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
