you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
