she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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