his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
