If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
whose ass print is on the piano?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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