dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
