i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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