it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
