Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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