I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
