Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
