idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
