Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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