im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
