Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
