He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is Oprah even human
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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