Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Watching her eat just hurts me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize