It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
