I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Still dying that you shit outside
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
