At least make sure they are 18
Why
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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