Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
