I have demons in me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
