wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
