i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You can't motorboat a personality
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
