im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
