their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
third nipple confirmed
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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