Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
