Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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