We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
