Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
