She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
