But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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