And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
