Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
