The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
