So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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