SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
