There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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