can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
