i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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