Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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