Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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