Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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