I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
