remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
