You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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