when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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