Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
