Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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