Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
