He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
