once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
